The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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