Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
