Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
