lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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