I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
