found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
