He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
