Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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