I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
