Kiss
Puke
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
