I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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