is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
