no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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