so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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