Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
