I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
