Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
