You made eat vitamins until I threw up
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
