It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
vagina is talking i cant
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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