I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
