a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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