Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
