My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
