are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
