Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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