So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
