I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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