Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
