dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
