Betty ford says i'm here all night
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Life is so much better after having sex.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
