I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
