Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
