Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
