Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
