I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
