Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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