I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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