Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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