I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I cockslap morals
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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