i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
