areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
