You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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