So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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