there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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