Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
