roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
