I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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