i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
