Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
