sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
