just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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