So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
