You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
