I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
