put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Everything about him screamed your future.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
