lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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