Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
