awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
