is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
